Snap...Crackle...Downdog by Dawn Kimball

So I finally decided that I was going to give yoga another try. I have dabbled in yoga on and off for 15 years. If anyone knows me they know that I am considered “Hollywood” when it comes to doing anything. So I went to my closet and looked over the 35 pairs of yoga pants I have accumulated over the years. NO. None of them will do. I NEED Lulu’s! I marched myself to the store and finally tried on a pair. the woman at the store told me how great I looked!  I was in LOVE! So comfy, so chic, so cool! They also made me look 10lbs smaller! BONUS! I was going to be that yoga person. I felt amazing. I got a nice top to match. Not form fitting mind you, just loose fitting T-shirt. (But it had the logo) 

  The day came.  I was ready and looked fabulous. I walked into the studio like I owned it. Watch out world. We started in a seated position. Cool. I can do this. The top of my pants moved a little so I adjusted them. No biggie. I looked awesome. Mountain pose, great. Look at these pants!  I’m so fashion forward. Cat, cows, they rolled a little more but I was moving around a lot. Adjusted them again. Now came the time for the glorious down dog. I’m ready. A real yoga pose. I get myself into the perfect down dog. Look at me! I’m doing yoga! A silent POP. What the hell was that? I peaked up to my stomach and low and behold all I saw was what looked like a busted can of biscuits!  WTF just happened? As I am thinking about how to pull these shitty pants back up before someone sees, my adorable Lulu top slid over my head as I was upside down. Now I can’t see and my whole body is out there for all the yogis to see. I died a thousand deaths! I finished my yoga class and when I got home I took those coveted Yoga pants and threw them in the trash. 

Yoga has taught me forgiveness tho. I forgive my body for the poses I can not do. But more importantly I forgive the woman at Lululemon for selling me these horrible excuse for yoga pants.